So Sunday will mark one month of being home with the boys. Bennett has been off this week from Camp Kindergarten so it's been a BUSY week, even with the 4th in there. Here is what our normal schedule looks like M-F
| Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday |
Bennett | Camp K from 8-1, then SP/OT from 3:30-5 | Camp K from 8-1 then OT from 4-5 | Camp K from 8-1 | Camp K from 8-1 then PT from 4-5 | |
Brayden | ABA from 9-3 then SP/OT from 3:30-5 | ABA from 9-3 then SP/OT/PT from 3:30-6 | ABA from 9-3 | ABA from 9-3 | ABA from 9-3 |
Bennett is currently on the waiting list for ABA because like most places, there's not enough people wanting or willing to work and everywhere is short staffed. So as you can see, most days of the week are full of therapies. This doesn't include any other type of appointments, including those of mine or their dad's. It's been hard to explain to him why someone is here 5 days a week to "play" with Brayden and not him so we've been trying to do more Mommy and Bennett time. Bennett just wants to be the center of attention so it's my job to entertain him while Brayden is participating in ABA. Hopefully before school starts though we will be able to get some form of ABA started for Bennett as he really struggles with social and emotional interactions and boundaries. This kid would make the BEST Walmart greeter out there and every person who walked in the door would get a hug. While I love that he's a lover, it scares the daylights out of me knowing it wouldn't take much to get him lured and kidnapped.
Some of you probably wonder what type of behaviors we deal with right now. Brayden is my eloper. He loves to run off and doesn't understand danger. Also, if he doesn't get his way, the tantrums come out. This can include hitting, biting, throwing, screaming, or any mixture of the above. He is not very verbal so we struggle a lot with communication and trying to figure out what he needs or wants. This is the biggest issue we would have if someone else was to watch him such as for respite. I have 3 years under my belt, no one else would. Bennett is my emotional kid and can communicate, but the tantrums are there somewhat too. It's more the comprehension that Bennett steals with the most and understanding personal space and respect.
So what services are out there? I'm over a year in and I still don't know all the answers. We have started with CLTS (Children's Long-Term Services) and Medicaid. Obviously we have ABA (applied behavioral analysis) in place as well. I know ABA is controversial in many minds, and I respect that. I have learned that hiring a company for ABA is much like hiring a nanny. You have to interview them and see how they work with the child (or don't work) and see how it will work with your lifestyle. For us, I wanted a company that was willing to do both in home and at daycare initially so the social interactions with other kids could still be part of this repertoire. The company we used also has a center nearby so now his social interactions can be done there if we choose. But it's what works for us, not what works for them which is what I love most about them. Plus this is mostly just play therapy while using play as a way to push for adjusting behaviors and pushing for communication. I've also started a small support group on Facebook for our county as we are very much a rural county and the services and resources we offer are different than the bigger cities next door. We've done a few playdates, but I'm hoping to do more now that I'm not trying to be a wife, mother, maid, and full time nurse. But we will see. I'm REALLY great at ideas, but honestly being a mom of two special need kiddos and staying home with them is two full time jobs in and of itself. It's challenging, exhausting, emotionally and mentally trying and no one truly understands it unless they're in the same situation. For example, I have no one else to watch my kids so I can take a break really. My parents are good with the boys, but as they age, their physical ability to chase after my eloper isn't there. My mother-in-law is also great with the boys, but again has physical limitations that would inhibit her ability to care for them both. You pick your battles, you "gentle parent" even more so than others. Many would call it "babying", but honestly, it's because your 3 year old has an emotional understanding of a 1 year old and is easily triggered and overwhelmed. It's constantly being screamed at, yelled at, hit, kicked, bitten, etc. It's an abusive relationship in reverse is the easiest way to put it except they don't know that they're doing it and not able to control it. By the time my husband gets home from work in the afternoon, I am mentally and emotionally drained, even maybe if I didn't do much physically because that's the norm around here with trying to navigate this crazy world.
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